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Red Flags, My Favorite Flower
It took me a long time to sort my introverted narcissist out for the monster he is. Of course, part of that was my own denial. I loved him. I didn’t want to believe it. Besides, we had that one good day that one time five weeks ago. Isn’t that worth fighting for?! Sigh. Back then, red flags were my favorite flower, and he showered me in them. Had I known better, I’d have been on the lookout for these signs you’re dealing with a narcissist (or person with narcissistic traits). Gaslighting Gaslighting is usually the first way to tell the thing, as long as you can recognize it for…
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The Curse of Overthinking…
Trying to ward off the curse of overthinking seems futile. You know you’re going down sketchy paths of your own creation, but you can’t stop yourself from careening into the abyss. The struggle is real …and exhausting. That’s where I’ve been. Between wrapping up the school year and a sideways personal life, I just kinda struggled to come up with something important to say. I want to post regularly, of course, but I find myself, well, overthinking the whole thing and stagnating in a pit of doubt. If you’re an overthinker, you get it. Try as you might, sometimes you just can’t get out of the feedback loop. Then one…
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You Can’t Go That Way…
The other day, I was walking down my alley to go to the City Market around the corner, and I stopped to talk to a former student of mine (we’ll call her “M”) who’s now a member of the Blue Suede Brigade, downtown’s boots-on-the-ground safety and hospitality personnel. As she and I are celebrating her fifth day without a cigarette (good for you, chica!), this lady in a minivan drives up the alley and stops beside us. I immediately think, “But you can’t go that way.” She tells us that she wants to drive across Main Street to get on Front Street. And while continuing straight down that alley was…
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The Broken Makes Us Beautiful…
On the last Monday of February, I had the final session of a biweekly therapy group that’s been meeting for about four months. Our only bond before this group was that we all trusted our mental health journeys to the same therapist. We’ve studied all kinds of things together, swapped stories we’ve never shared before or only to a small handful of people we infinitely trust not to use them against us. We cried and we held space for one another to speak without judgment. Somewhere in there, we learned to be less judgmental of ourselves. Over the past few months, we studied various practices and theories in psychology and…
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15 Things to Know about Being Mental
I’ve learned that if you can’t laugh at your mental illness(es) sometimes, you really will lose your damn mind — and your sense of self. I’ve lost both. Then I found ’em chasing each other through the broken glass of a downtown alley, cut myself up dragging them back against their will. If you love someone who’s living life despite their mental illness, there are some things you might appreciate knowing so you both stay a little more sane. That said, I’m not a licensed professional and this is purely anecdotal and from my own experiences and work with my therapist. This kind of took on a life of its…
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Day 16: Thanks, Kid.
I know you feel stuck, Kid; you’re fighting what feels like an impossible fight and you’re not gaining any ground. I know you had big dreams based on bigger promises and all that’s crashing down around you. You feel helpless and out of control. I know it hurts to breathe and you can’t imagine the new world order in front of you. I know your heart’s been broken so many times you’ve lost count. But thank you. For choosing to look past treatment that shook you to the core and challenged what it meant to love another person greater than yourself. Hell, for dealing with things that challenged you to…
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Day 8: Doing Life Better
For many, the new year is all about trying to live better, fuller, happier, whatever-er. We pretend we can reset the system. And as much as I wish we could just start some things over, we can’t. So we’ve got to be real about where we are and create tangible plans for where we want to go. Today’s blogging challenge is to make a list of five ways we can take care of ourselves. While most people are focused on how to improve the physical around this time of year, I’d like to take a look at how to improve the mental. 1. Be in the Moment Anxiety is no…
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Day 7: Lessons from 2018
Today’s blogging challenge is to take a look at lessons learned from 2018 through a course, book, social media, article, or website. And that’s hard. I feel like I learned so much from last year. So how can I pick one thing? There are books and experiences galore, but one of the most impactful things I did was for a presentation in group therapy. I worked with another woman to share the enneagram, and if you’ve never heard of the Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator (RHETI), it’s kind of like a more scientific Myers-Briggs. Tons of corporations use this tool to manage their people and projects more efficiently. On a personal…
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Day 6: Movie Review
Today’s blogging challenge is to review a favorite movie from 2018. My choice was released just before the new year, and it hit home hard. You’ve probably heard of a little Netflix gem called Birdbox, yeah? I mean, in the first 7 days it was out, some 45 million people watched it. So I’m chilling at the a-p-t when the BFF messages me and tells me he’s watching Bird Box. He wants to see what all the fuss is about. That, and get all the memes. Well, hell. Now I gotta watch it too so we can chat about it. Confession: I’d seen articles about how the movie addressed the…
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Day 5: Letter to Myself
Today’s challenge is to write a letter to myself explaining to future me where I’ll be in a year. It’s kinda like a written vision board. What’s cool about today’s challenge is that I actually do a similar assignment like this with my students every year. They have certain prompts that they respond to, but the letter is a composition all their own. We seal them in envelopes and I lock them in a filing cabinet. They basically forget about them, and then I give them back out on the last day of school. The kids will leave themselves all kinds of neat things in these letters, too. Sometimes, they’ll…
